Baby Ours
by derpette-Waffle
Summary: The closeted couple found a baby girl in an alley, and a few hours later they were taking her home.
1. Chapter 1

Dan wanted to take Phil's hand in his as they strolled down the street.

He would've if that wouldn't give them away. They both pretended to be happy just the way things were, being together in secret, even from their families whom they were about fifty-fifty on whether they'd support them and their relationship. It was going on five years, but nothing changed, for better or for worse. The two were just as in love as they were in the beginning, and endless honeymoon phase they were certain would keep going. It wasn't easy keeping it secret –especially being so out there on the internet, and all the speculation and accusations they had to deny despite being entirely true- but they managed enough to leave just enough room for doubt, and that was enough. They didn't like it, but neither would let the other know that.

But Dan really just wanted to hold Phil's hand.

He brought his hand up to his mouth instead to stifle a cough. The air was damp and worsening his cold. "I'm gonna die of pneumonia if we don't turn back soon."

It was one of the few parts of the city they'd yet to explore. Phil had insisted on an adventure, mainly to get Dan off his laptop for a few hours, and to spend some nice quality time together outside the flat. He scoffed at the exaggeration. "It's just the sniffles like you get every other week. Relax and enjoy the fresh air." Phil sucked in a deep breath, and Dan, humoring him, tried to do likewise through his stuffy nose, which only ended in a sputtering coughing fit. Phil sighed, genuinely sympathetic and thinking this maybe wasn't such a good idea in this weather and with Dan having a cold and everything. "Alright, two more blocks and we'll turn back."

It wasn't soon enough in Dan opinion, but he trudged on through his stuffed nose and sore throat and throbbing headache, for his boyfriend. He'd just demand cuddles when they got home: he hardly thought Phil would object.

It was one block in that they passed an alleyway between two old buildings, and it smelled. Phil scrunched his nose at the stench. "Ugh, you smell that?"

Dan halfheartedly glared at him, smirking. "No, I can only smell the snot blocking up my nostrils."

They'd stopped walking in their banter, and the street –already not very busy- was suddenly near empty besides the two of them. Cars waited silently at a red light a couple meters down, and all was quiet except for what sounded like… crying. Phil was the first to perk up at the noise, attention piqued. "Do you hear that?"

Dan shook his head, dismissing it absently. "No, I don't hear anything but the blood rushing through my ears and making my head pound." He was not above playing up his cold to turn back now: he wanted to lay in bed with his boyfriend, dammit.

Phil groaned at his boyfriend's immaturity. "A little cold doesn't make you deaf, Dan." Phil wasn't above downplaying Dan's illness, either. The noise sounded like it was coming from the odorous alley next to them. "I think it's coming from in here." He stepped cautiously into the relative darkness.

Dan whined, unable to smell the stench but having heard about it, not wanting to venture closer. "Phil, I'm sure it's nothing, let's go!" He watched as Phil stopped behind a dumpster, watched him stare with wide eyes at whatever was hidden there. Dan was getting nervous. "It's nothing, let's go!"

"This isn't nothing…"

Dan almost didn't hear him. Phil was getting down onto his knees, disappearing behind the trash. Dan grimaced and reluctantly went to join him. "What is it then-?"

On the ground was an infant carrier, and inside was a tiny, tiny baby, no more than a few weeks old. He-or-she (there was no identifying color theme to the seat or clothing) was crying incessantly, and Phil was knelt down beside it, rocking it back and forth and looking just as frazzled as Dan felt.

"What… What do we do?" Phil was, for once, looking to Dan for an answer; Dan wasn't sure he was comfortable taking that role on.

"Um… bring it to the police station?" He had no ideas otherwise. He had to figure their best bet was to bring the baby to the police and let them search for the parents, rather than look themselves and risk kidnap charges –unlikely, but possible.

Phil nodded and carefully scooped the infant up into his arms, holding her (on closer look, it looked like a girl) against his shoulder and rubbing her back, hushing her and trying to soothe the wailing infant.

Dan only watched as she started to calm down, to both of their relief. He picked the carrier up off the filthy ground. "You're… You're good at that," he smiled softly. Phil returned it silently.

They got her –it was a her- to the police, who got her to the hospital to be checked out after being out in the wet weather. The young men who'd found her had surprisingly wanted to stay with her where she went, both just wanting to see that she'd be okay. They seemed a bit fazed to the officers and nurses.

In the pediatric waiting room, Dan and Phil both reminded themselves and each other that they had no personal relation or stake in this baby, but just wanted to make sure she was going to be taken care of: as all infants should, especially after they'd been abandoned in a decaying alley like she had.

A doctor cheerfully confirmed that "Baby Doe" was just a little cold and fussy, lethargic and slightly dehydrated, but otherwise healthy. The secret couple both let out sighs of relief at the news, but knew the little one wasn't out of the woods just yet: there was still the matter of finding her parents, if it were that they hadn't just thrown her away. The thought made Phil outwardly cringe; Dan suppressed a small laugh, despite his nerves. He had to ask, "What's gonna happen with her?"

An officer took over questions. "Well, we'll try to locate her parents and ensure that they weren't the ones to leave her out in the cold like that."

"And if they did?" Phil piped quietly.

"Then she'll be sent to an orphanage, and charges will be filed against her mother and father. There's also the chance that she might not have parents to go back to, in which case the same would occur."

Dan frowned. He wasn't sure why, but he was firmly against the idea of letting the little baby be raised in an orphanage. He looked to Phil, who'd already been so good with her, and seemed just as downhearted about the idea. A thought struck: one that might solve the issue. "Phil, can I talk to you for a second?"

Phil stared at him a brief moment and nodded, letting Dan pull him aside, out of earshot of the officer. "Yeah, what?"

"What if we take her in? Just for a little while, until her parents or found, or she's alright to go to an orphanage."

His boyfriend looked dumbfounded at the idea. "Are you crazy?" he whispered harshly, worried Dan might be losing his mind or something. "We can't- We can't look after a baby!"

"We'll look into it, then! And you were great with her, and I think she'll like us –at least a lot more than an orphanage. And it won't be forever, just, maybe a few weeks or something."

Phil considered it, slowly warming up to the idea. They didn't really know how to take care of children, of any age, and he wasn't sure they would be any better than if Baby Doe was put with another random family. He looked over to where a nurse was holding her, and looking at the little girl, something in her big curious eyes melted his resolve. "Okay, let's do it." He smirked a bit. "I never thought you'd be the first one wanting us to settle down with a family. I thought you wanted to put that off until you were at least thirty."

Dan punched his arm, worried someone might've heard and draw conclusions. "It's not that –again, it's not gonna be permanent. It's just until she has somewhere to go where people will love her."


	2. Chapter 2

"Welcome to your new home, little one!" Phil smiled as he carried the newborn –the doctor had estimated she was less than two months old. Dan was again behind him with the carrier, content to just let his boyfriend carry the precious little thing. They'd moved into the lounge before another word was said. "We need to name her."

Dan laughed and plopped down next to the two of them. The baby was asleep. "Once we name her we're gonna get too attached." She had to have already had a name, even if there was no previous record of her existence with the hospital –no missing child report, either. It was sad, really, that something so sweet and innocent could be forgotten. "We'll call her Baby Doe like the officers did."

"That's so impersonal, though," Phil pouted, adjusting her carefully in his arms. "She's living here now, and for the next- maybe few weeks, she's gonna be a part of our family. And the least we can do is give her a proper name."

After much debate and banter between the two of them, plus a few quick kisses to keep the mood light and the atmosphere loving and just because they plain enjoyed it like nothing else, they agreed –eventually- on Ivy Alexa. They also agreed that their viewers would not find out about her, lest they never hear the end of "the Phan baby."

They set up a makeshift cradle in the office, and Dan stayed behind with the baby while Phil went out to get some essentials they would need for her. It was more than a little awkward for him, sitting all alone with an unfamiliar baby, and he almost struck up a onesided conversation with little Ivy before Phil returned with four shopping bags in hand. He looked completely worn out. Dan laughed; "If you can hardly handle a little shopping, how do you expect to take care of a baby?"

"One: you're one to talk," Phil huffed out, panting as he set the items down on the floor. "Two: this was your idea."

"You don't get to claim that it's my fault now that you decided we needed to name her."

"I stand by that." They started unpacking what had been bought –bottles, formula, blankets, onesies, tiny towels… everything they would probably need that they could afford right now. They might buy a real cradle eventually, but for now the box lined with cotton and sheets was working well enough. Ivy seemed happy.

But the office, they realized, might not be the best space for her. It wasn't near enough to their bedrooms to wake them up if she started crying in the night, and the room was small, and where the two of them did their editing: they needed quiet for that, not a screaming infant.

They plopped down on the sofa while Ivy slept a bit. They had to decide where to put her that wasn't the office, no proper place for a little baby on either end of the deal. They couldn't keep her in the lounge, obviously not the kitchen or bathroom, and were left with little other option.

Phil shot a sideways glance at Dan, who looked deep in thought. He risked breaking the younger man's concentration to quietly quip an idea. "Wanna move her to your room?"

Dan sighed and thought about it for a moment. "And when I have to film?"

"Move her and her stuff into my room for a bit?" he suggested, trying to not sound too hopeful.

Dan smirked and laced their fingers together. "You can't just leave me alone with the baby, she's your responsibility as much as she is mine."

"I doubt she'd be keeping you awake at night, though, seeing as you're up until four AM on the internet."

Dan laughed and squeezed his hand. "Really, though; where would I be staying, then?"

"The lounge?" Phil joked, smiling widely before letting it soften into a shy tugging at his lips. He'd honestly been waiting for this opportunity, though he'd never admit it. "But seriously…" He trailed off for a moment, bringing their intertwined hands up to press his lips to Dan's middle knuckle. "I was kinda thinking you could move into my room with me."

Dan flushed at the suggestion. Five years into their relationship, and living together for almost three, they still occupied two separate bedrooms and –shockingly- had never had sex. At least, not with each other –something about reclaimed virginity after less than pleasant first times, holding off for marriage or something like that. It was kinda dumb and they both knew it, but they were just fine and happy together the way they were, and had never felt a need to change anything.

But now they could be sharing a room, sharing a bed, and Dan liked the idea. "Okay, I'll get my stuff together."

Ivy was moved into Dan's room, and Dan would still use that room for filming, moving the baby and her stuff out of there on recording days. They'd come up with an arrangement that they could agree on, and work around individual schedules. And Dan moved into Phil's room, and Phil's bed, that night.

Cuddle times –just being able to relax and unwind in each other's arms- were very important to the young couple, and something they indulged in two or three times a day in varying intervals. But it had always been done out in the lounge, watching television but not really, snuggled up on the sofa, seeming to alternate who was hogging the blanket.

Here, in bed –their bed, at least for now- it seemed somewhat more intimate than before, and neither was complaining.

It was getting late, and Ivy was asleep across the hall, where if she were to start crying, she'd be easily heard through the thin walls. Dan and Phil lay in bed under the covers, Dan's head on his boyfriend's chest, silent for a long while. They were both thinking about Ivy, rather than each other, and wondering if they would make good parents while they had her –and they both started at the idea that they were parents right now, looking after a little baby girl in their home for an indefinite amount of time. The thought kind of scared them.

Dan was the first to break the stillness, leaning up to kiss Phil sweetly, putting a pause to both their worrying. "I like it in here."

Phil smiled and kissed him back. "I'm glad you do." He absently stroked his hand over Dan's bare waist, thinking, gathering the courage to ask what he'd been wanting to ask. "Think you'll stick around after the baby's gone?"

Dan smiled and returned to his position, eyes falling shut and taking in the rhythmic beating against his ear. "We'll see, babe."


	3. Chapter 3

They both woke up to the baby crying in the next room and their partner groaning awake in bed with them. "Remind me to never have children," Dan bemoaned, burying his face into his boyfriend's torso. Phil, half-asleep still, nodded and kissed the top of Dan's head, instead reminding him that combined they lacked the necessary equipment to have a child. "And thank the fucking lord for that." Dan got up out of bed, put some pants on, and dragged himself across the room. "Well, come on!"

Phil groaned again and rolled out of bed, not bothering to put any clothes on as he followed Dan into the temporary baby's room. He was sort of slowly shuffling across the carpet, trying not to move in too quickly, wanting to see how Dan would handle Ivy. Phil just peeked through the doorway, and found Dan standing beside the crib, bouncing a crying baby in his arms. He looked like a giant compared to the tiny little thing. He was humming some tuneless lullaby over the infant's cries.

"Lullaby and shut up… I really need to slee-eep."

Phil laughed and stepped into the room. "You were doing great until that part," he smiled, taking Ivy from Dan's arms as he pouted at him, clearly having some faith in what he'd been singing. Phil started bouncing her, too, but she kept on wailing.

Dan smirked. "Not so easy, is it, Mr. Mum?"

Phil rolled his eyes and started quietly hushing the baby in his arms, who probably couldn't hear it over her screaming. They were probably waking the neighbors up at five in the morning but it would have to be that way. The landlord or a pissed off tenant could come knocking and they would –calmly- explain that they were sorry, but they were watching a friend's baby for a week or two and the disturbances weren't their fault; they didn't enjoy being up this early as much as anyone else, and at least everyone but the two of them could try to sleep through it.

"I'm gonna put some coffee on," Dan sighed. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

They knew one of them should just man up and change the baby's diaper already, but they were both cowards and not afraid to admit it as they played rock-paper-scissors to see who would get stuck with diaper duty. They were almost too in sync, it seemed, as the first three rounds were met with the same play on either side, until Phil finally beat Dan out and Dan grudgingly had to go change the incessantly wailing baby.

It was awful, and he hoped in vain to never have to do it again. The only relief was that once it was finished –the old diaper tossed away like a time bomb and a fresh one strapped into place- Ivy calmed down significantly after a morning of crying, two feedings and a walk around the block later. "I'm blaming you if my cold gets worse," Dan sniffed, immediately regretting it as the stench of rotten diaper invaded his nostrils. He plopped back down on the sofa next to his boyfriend, laying his head on his shoulder and sighing deeply. His eyes fell shut as Phil stroked his fingers through Dan's hair, and kissed the top of his aching head.

"I'll make you some soup in a bit, for now let's just enjoy the quiet."

And they did –all five and a half minutes of it.

* * *

A week went by with still no news on the whereabouts of Ivy's parents or otherwise caretakers. Every day, despite the difficulties and everything that came along with parenthood –a parenthood they hadn't been prepared for- Dan and Phil were only growing more and more fond of the little baby living in their flat with them.

She was asleep, finally. Dan and Phil were both very, very tired and wanted to go to sleep, but they couldn't bring themselves to move from the crib, watching Ivy sleep peacefully, sort of preciously. Dan lifted his head just a bit to catch his boyfriend's eyes for a moment before reaching into the makeshift cradle, stroking the baby's cheek. She gurgled a bit as she leaned her face into the finger that was about the length of her head, and Dan smiled fondly.

"You know…" he said at length, quiet as to not disturb the snoozing infant. "She's actually pretty damn cute when she's not crying or fussing over spitting up on my favorite shirts."

Phil smiled and reached in to adjust the woolen blanket, pulling it up to cover her a bit more. The smile faded from his face. "We can't keep her, though," he noted solemnly, more serious than Dan liked to hear.

Dan stiffened a bit and tried to laugh it off. "Well, if her parents never come around, where's she gonna go? We can't just send her off to be an orphan when… she could have us."

He heard a sigh, but Phil didn't look up at him, eyes fixed on the baby. "They will come, Dan. Maybe they'll be cleared on abandonment, and we'll have to give her back. Or they'll be charged, and she'll go to an orphanage." He looked up, and Dan noticed a bit of redness in his eyes, but his voice didn't falter a bit. "You're not thinking this through. Yes, we've managed a few days with her now, but do you really think we're prepared to raise a child right now?"

Dan stepped around the crib and pulled his boyfriend up to stand and face him, and pulled Phil into his arms, squeezing tightly for both their sakes. "I do think… that we can arrange it, if we need to. I don't think we'd be incompetent parents –a little shaky at first, yeah, but aren't all parents with their first kid?"

"But Ivy isn't ours, Dan. She has a mother and father who love her and are probably worried sick-"

"Worried enough to not file with the police after more than a week," Dan laughed bitterly. Phil pulled himself out of his arms and headed for the door. "Where are you going?" Dan piped quietly, a bit concerned.

"I'm going to bed, join me when you're ready."

He didn't sound angry, but Dan was still worried there was something underlying. He had a feeling Phil wanted to keep Ivy as badly as he did, but was trying to just be realistic about the situation. Dan had to admit he could probably use that dose of reality: Ivy's parents probably were looking for her, and would catch on eventually, and come to take her back. And he and Phil would have to say goodbye.

Dan stayed in the room a little longer before going to spoon his boyfriend in bed. He wasn't ready to give up denial just yet, and would keep thinking that, maybe, this was fate wanting them to move to the next step. He had high hopes for that.


	4. Chapter 4

A month, then two, then three went by with still no word on Ivy's parents. Dan and Phil had fixed up the room to be more like a nursery –Dan had made some bullshit excuse to his viewers as to why he was filming in the lounge now— with a proper cradle and toy chest and little baby wardrobe and everything. And every day the young couple raising her grew more and more fond of her, and further dreaded the day they would have to give her up.

That day never seemed to come. They'd had her for ten months and still nothing, no reason for them to have to lose her anytime soon. And while back all those months ago they might've been burdened with that thought, both were relieved. Maybe she wouldn't have to go after all.

Phil was feeding the baby while Dan was filming a video, but a bottle didn't seem enough to keep Ivy quiet, and she wailed more than loud enough to be heard on Dan's camera. Dan groaned, growing a bit frustrated as he waited for Ivy to stop crying before he'd start over for the ninth time. "Have you tried anything besides a bottle?"

Phil came in and the volume only intensified once it wasn't muffled through the wall. "Sorry, just take her quickly? My phone ringing and I can't answer with her screaming."

Dan nodded; he really needed to work, but of all distractions, Ivy was probably one of the more welcome ones. He took her in his arms and his boyfriend rushed back out of the room. "What's wrong, princess?" He couldn't believe he'd taken to using that pet name unironically. He used to associate it with spoiled brats but now he could only think of this little angel as a princess –and yes, they probably did spoil her, but she was worth spoiling, and too young to realize. "You wanted me to watch you instead?"

She grabbed his nose and didn't let go.

Phil returned a few moments later, plopping down on the sofa. "Just the police calling again to let us know there's no trace of her family."

"We're her family now," Dan squeaked through his tightly held nose.

The topic of the baby and their subscribers came up later that night when they were jointly giving Ivy a bath. She was content just playing with the bubbles, and it gave time for her foster daddies to talk.

"She's getting big."

"Yeah… gonna be a year old soon, isn't she?"

"Well, she was just over a month old when we took her in. It would have to be soon."

Dan was swishing his hand through the warm water where it was devoid of suds, and Phil was brushing bubbles up into what little hair was on Ivy's little head. There was a long moment of silence before Dan broke it. "Think we should introduce her to the viewers?"

Phil laughed, thinking he was joking until he caught Dan's eye again. "Really?"

"Yeah. God knows we do enough hiding already." He reached out his dry hand and took Phil's in his. "And how much longer could we really keep her hidden? I think it's a good idea. They'll figure it out eventually, might as well tell them."

It didn't seem like very good reasoning, but it seemed that it would make Dan happy. "Okay."

* * *

"Are you afraid to come out?" Dan asked, pulling Phil closer in bed, nuzzling the back of his neck. "We've both already said we're bi," he mumbled into his skin, "and no matter how much we've tried to play it off like we're actually straight, they're never gonna let us forget that. And from what I've seen, they really want us to be together, so they must support us, right?"

"Never would've pegged you for an optimist."

Dan huffed. "Look at me." Phil turned over in his arms. "Yeah, maybe they only like the idea of us being together because they think it'd be hot, and maybe some of them don't give a damn about whether we're just happy together and will bombard us with horribly inappropriate questions about our relationship. But…" Dan laced their fingers together, and his voice grew softer. "If that means that I can hold your hand in public, and kiss you on camera, I would more than gladly deal with anything they can throw at me."

Phil blinked up at him, imagining for a moment a world where he and Dan didn't have to hide their relationship. They didn't plan to break up anytime soon –or ever, if they could say so without risking a jinx on it- so what the hell were they really waiting for? He didn't want to have to be scared, and he wouldn't anymore. Dan was here, and they would always be there for each other, whatever may happen.

Phil pressed his face into Dan's chest, eyes falling shutting and silently agreeing to the idea. Dan smiled and kissed the top of his head. It wasn't a usual sleep position for them, but it was comfortable.

* * *

And the next Saturday –which they deemed Ivy's First Birthday- they recorded their first video as a little family.

"So you might be wondering why the hell we have a baby with us today," Dan started, gesturing to the obvious infant sitting on Phil's lap in a cute little dress and tiny sneakers. Phil covered her ears so she wouldn't hear Dan's cursing. "Well, plot twist: we've actually had this baby with us for the last ten, eleven months." He turned to his boyfriend, smiling secretly. "I think we kept her hidden pretty well, don't you?"

"I think so. This is Ivy, guys." He bounced her on his knee a bit, and she giggled. "We found her abandoned in an alley last year and took her in, and she's… sort of like a daughter to us now."

"Speaking of which-" Dan shifted in his seat to face Phil a bit more. "Here's something you've all been waiting for, so hang onto your panties, girls and… boys, whatever you wanna hold onto." He could barely finished what he was saying before he started laughing.

Phil was laughing, too, holding Ivy in one arm and using the other to playfully punch his boyfriend in the arm. "You're gonna have to try that again, you can't say that!"

Dan complied and attempted once more when he'd calmed down a bit. "Speaking of which, we have a little something… we know you've all be waiting for… Drum roll, princess?"

Phil moved Ivy's hands against her legs in what was supposed to be a drum roll from the very confused baby. She just stared at the blinky red light on the camera.

Dan pressed his lips to Phil's, even harder than they had "rehearsed," and they both just melted into it like butter. Ivy didn't see any of it, what with the red light blipping in front of her. She watched her foster daddies do that every day, anyway.

It was a few long, blissful moments before they pulled away, lightheaded and adrenaline rushing with the thought that that would be the first of their many hundreds, maybe thousands of kisses their viewers would see. And they couldn't have chosen to show them a better one, because never before that moment had they been so in love.


	5. Chapter 5

A year can go by quickly when it's a happy, busy one.

Ivy was immersed in her shows, the ones that didn't really have any substance but were bright and color and kept her quiet and occupied for a few hours, and gave her foster parents some quiet time aside from the singing these characters always seemed to be doing. It was quiet enough for them to just take a breather, though, and Dan was happily spending his break browsing through pages and pages of his Tumblr dashboard. Curious and a little intrigued, he plunged into the depths of the 'phan' tag.

Things had been strange since they'd come out about their relationship. Before they revealed themselves, there had been more mild shipping going on, and a few mild haters that had all the time in their meaningless lives to give nasty comments to the two of them. And those days were fine, if not for the whole still-hiding-their-relationship part. But now that they were publicly an item, everything sort of intensified. More love –if you could call it that- from the shippers, more hate from those opposed, and never had they received so many graphic questions about their relationship nor homophobic rants before. And neither side seemed to be dying down, even after a year had gone by. Both ends of the spectrum were sort of a weight on the young couple's shoulders, but they had each other, and Ivy, to keep them getting by –that was what they cared about.

But Dan actually liked stumbling across the more innocent posts about them, and thought they were cute and even 'liked' them if they were particularly good.

He looked over to his boyfriend across the room, where he was doing something on his own computer. He was still in his glasses and his hair was messy; Dan bit his lip, resisting the urge to pounce on him, what with the baby present. Speaking of which, "I love how the shippers are so insistent that you're the dominant one." He laughed and just stared at his boyfriend for a moment, who didn't seem to quite hear him, and moved closer as if to get a better look.

He studied hard and it made Phil a bit uneasy not knowing what he was looking for. "What?" he asked, a little impatient and nervous.

"I just don't see you being on top all the fucking time like they seem to think you are." Phil rolled his eyes –he wasn't quite as fond of the speculation as Dan was. Dan laughed and pouted a bit. "For someone who's made a career on the internet you're not really an internetty person, are you?"

Phil laughed and shut his laptop. "No, I just don't like how they're reading between the lines when they can't even read the lines themselves." He leaned over and kissed his boyfriend, compelled to keep it PG with Ivy just a few feet away, even though the baby wouldn't know what was going on even if she were to turn around. Dan's eyes all but begged for a little more, but he wouldn't be getting it. Smirking, Phil sat back in the seat and grabbed his laptop again. "And if you tell any one of them that we actually switch off you're cockblocked 'til Ivy hits puberty, I swear on your life."

Dan scoffed and resumed his own internet browsing. "If I was gonna lie to them I'd go and say I'm the full dominant one."

"It's not a lie to say we switch off, we do!"

"Well, considering we never actually discuss who's going to be the one getting pounded-" Dan cringed at the thought and didn't notice how Phil looked at him as if with psychotic homicidal intentions, "it's a little hard to say we 'take it in turns,' but I just feel that…" he had to stop himself from laughing, "if either of us has been fucked open-"

And Phil pounced on him, both their Macbooks falling to the floor, covering Dan's mouth. Dan was just about dying of laughter muffled in his boyfriend's hand. Phil was trying not to start laughing himself. "You twat, talking like that in front of the baby!" It took a second, but he had to burst out at the irony of what he'd said, and let go of Dan's face, collapsing onto his chest.

Dan tried to contain himself and turned to Ivy, turned and staring up at them, confused and looking a little annoyed that they were interrupting her program. "I'm sorry, baby."

"Was that to her or to me?"

Dan halfheartedly slapped Phil's side to shut him up. "I'm sorry, princess-" he tried again. "We didn't mean to ruin your show, but it seems your daddies –okay, especially me- have some obscenities they've been keeping bottled up too long. We'll try to quit the sailor talk." And Ivy seemed to accept that, turning back to the television.

When he turned back to his boyfriend lying on his lap, Phil was staring down at him, not laughing anymore but face still a bit red.

"What?"

"What you just said. You… called us her daddies…"

Dan hadn't even noticed, it had just slipped out. Suddenly flustered, he tried to explain it away. "Well, I mean, we might as well be…"

Phil leaned down and pressed his lips to Dan's, silencing him before he could speak any further. He pulled away after a moment, smiling. "No, no 'might as well be.' We are. She's our baby girl and we're her daddies."

Dan smiled brightly and leaned in for another kiss.

The tone of the doorbell rang out, as did Ivy's little voice with an attention-drawing cry of "doo'!"

Phil looked to her and smiled. "Right, sweetie, be right back."

He got up off of Dan to go answer it, and with no one there to kiss at the moment, Dan let his head flop back down onto the cushion. He turned his head as he heard the little toddler hopping over to him. He reached out and stroked her fine red hair. "Hey, princess. Show over?" She nodded and he got up to turn the TV off, when his boyfriend came back into the room.

Dan turned to look up at him, about to ask who had been at the door when he noticed how Phil looked to sort of be in shock, trying to hold everything together. Dan didn't like that look one bit, and forgot about the TV, standing upright in front of his boyfriend. "What's wrong, who was that?" He worried for a moment some hater might've found where they lived and done or said something, and he was ready to take action if need be.

He watched Phil scoop Ivy up into his arms, seeming to hold her extra tight. "Ivy's… parents are here."


	6. Chapter 6

Ivy's birth parents were a young American couple, seemed nice enough but anxious about being there. They moved to the lounge, the two pairs sitting opposite each other on the sofa. The mother –Andrea, she'd introduced herself, and her husband, Derek- reached out for Ivy. "Come to Mommy, sweetie!" But Ivy was having none of that, frightened by this strange woman and running to Phil for safety. (Phil was always the one to kill the spiders.)

The young woman, upset by the rejection of her daughter, stayed silently on the sofa, staring into her lap.

"So… you're Ivy's birth parents?" Dan asked, not really believing this could be happening and trying to let it sink in, trying to get them talking so the silence wouldn't be so awkward.

"Haley, her name's Haley," the father, Derek, corrected. It was almost as if she hadn't only been "Haley" for the first month of her life and then Ivy for the last two years. "Yes, she's our daughter. And she needs to come home with us now."

"We were so worried," Andrea piped in. "We were here on vacation, staying with friends in the city, and the day we were set to go back she went missing!"

"Why didn't you call the police?"

"We did. They told us that she would need to be missing longer before they could launch a full investigation. Derek's father had just died and we needed to get back home; our friends told us they would keep checking in. We- We never heard she'd been found."

Dan sighed. It wasn't the most unbelievable explanation, but he still wasn't sure about it. He looked to Phil to see if maybe he had anything to say to that. Phil was holding Ivy in his lap, letting her play with his hands to keep her occupied while all this was happening. She didn't know or understand what was going on, and she didn't need to be burdened with maybe having to be taken from them. "How did you find us?"

"We stumbled across this video." Andrea reached into her bag and pulled out a printed screencap from the video where they'd introduced Ivy to their subscribers. "There was no mistaking it –we knew from the moment we saw her that it was our Haley. The time and location matched up, too."

Derek joined in. "We contacted the police here and got your address. Flew right over to get our baby girl out of a faggot home."

Dan was floored at that, and looked to his boyfriend to see if he had indeed heard that correctly. Phil was covering Ivy's ears, looking equally shocked. Dan turned on Derek. "Wait, okay, so I get that you just found your long lost daughter or whatever, and I can only imagine how horrible that would be, but your devastation or whatever bullshit you're trying to play on us does not give you the right to come into our home and speak about us like that." Dan didn't know it was possible to be fuming like this, and tears were pricking in his eyes.

"It's nothing personal!" Andrea assured, leaping to her husband's defense. "We are grateful that you took her in like you did, but it's time for Haley to be raised in a wholesome household."

"Wholesome household?" Dan scathed, near foaming at the mouth but trying to keep his voice low for Ivy's sake. "She's healthy and happy. We're not the ones who lost her and then left the country for two fucking years. Now…" He honestly couldn't stand this anymore, and needed to get some peace before he broke. "Get out of our home."

"Not without our daughter!" Derek shouted, taking on a threatening stance.

Dan would not take that from some stranger in his home, glaring him down. "She's not yours, not anymore. Now go."

Phil had a similar opinion of this and stood up with Ivy tight in his arms to take her up to her room. She didn't need to be hearing all this arguing. Derek blocked his way out, and Phil narrowed his eyes at him. "Move out of my way. Leave my house or I'm calling the police." He was angry now but trying to keep calm for the same reason his boyfriend was, the same reason he pushed past the man standing between himself and the door.

He didn't expect to be grabbed roughly by the arm and all but thrown back into the room. He had to act quickly to keep his balance so he wouldn't fall down with Ivy –now crying- in his arms. He tried to calm her down, in the midst of everything.

Dan, meanwhile, saw red, and snapped. "Don't you touch him!" He lunged for the unwelcome guest, but Phil grabbed him by the shoulder before any physical altercation could take place.

* * *

The police –including the detective with whom Dan and Phil had been dealing with the last two years with Ivy- arrived a half hour later to settle the dispute civilly. It was determined that –as they had proof that Ivy was indeed their child- Derek and Andrea Calhoun had custodial rights to the two-year-old. The shock and devastation was still sinking in for the two men who had raised her to this point, as they went to pack up some things from Ivy's bedroom.

They couldn't bring themselves to say a word to each other as they packed most things up in boxes, the most immediate items going into the little purple backpack they'd bought her for days when they went to the park, to carry her toys in.

It was when he had to stuff her teddy into her backpack that Dan broke down, trying desperately to hold back sobs that he couldn't manage to constrain. There was no disbelieving it now: they were losing their baby girl, the sunshine in both their lives. Even though they'd still have each other, everything would only be gray after this. There'd be no one padding across the hall into their bedroom –door always open- and climbing up onto their bed, waking them up and little voice begging to go to the playground. They wouldn't take her to the ball pit after lunch at McDonald's and after not too much convincing, join her in romping around in there, like one little kid and three grown children. There would be no one to read bedtime stories to; to check for monsters under the bed for; to hear call them by that little title they'd both taken so proudly, fondly to.

They wouldn't be "Daddy" anymore.

He felt a pair of arms suddenly hold him tight, and he leaned into the touch, knowing his boyfriend was feeling the same way.

* * *

"Be good for your… mommy and daddy, sweetheart." The words felt wrong and nasty in Dan's mouth, and he'd need to rinse them out with soap after he was done crying. He held the toddler's hand for a moment –she didn't understand what was going on, and why her daddies were crying. As hard as they tried to stay strong, tears were falling freely from their eyes. Ivy reached out to wiped at his cheeks, and Dan's smiled and had to step away before he broke down entirely.

Phil stepped forward to wear Andrea was holding Ivy, and he really didn't like seeing his daughter in this woman's arms, but he tried to not let that show. "May I?" he asked, forcing courteousness in hopes for it to be granted as he held out his arms a bit to take her, just for a moment.

Andrea looked like she really didn't want to comply, but –as if remembering for the first time that these two took care of what she considered her child for the last two years- she allowed a few moments, and handed Ivy to Phil, who took her a lot more gently than she'd been given.

"Why daddies crying?" Ivy asked, all innocence and it was a bit of a relief that she didn't understand what was going on. Phil started to think about how one day, Ivy would forget about them, and probably raised from here to be homophobic like her so-called parents. That idea absolutely tore him up inside, and he only cried a bit harder. Ivy wiped some tears away, not liking to see her strong daddies cry.

"We have to go now, honey," Derek interrupted, addressing his wife. "Take Haley back and let's catch our flight."

And Andrea pried the little girl from her father's arms before he could say anything to her, and he couldn't bring himself to say anything as they headed to the door.

"You'll always be your daddies' little princess!" Dan called out desperately after them. He knew that was the last time he'd call her that –that he'd call her anything at all.

Ivy didn't understand what he meant, and smiled brightly back at them, hoping she could maybe cheer them up still. She shouted back as they left, a sweet "Bye!" to Dan and Phil, expecting to see them again later on, not thinking she'd go to bed that night without being tucked in, or read to, and the monsters under the bed would go unhunted.

And the two were left in their flat alone.

Dan started to head to the office to sleep for a bit on the sofa in there, needing a little while to breathe. "This is why I didn't want to get too attached."


	7. Chapter 7

It was a while before either of them could attempt real happiness again. Most days they'd just go through the motions, forcing smiles and holding back tears while they were together, and letting everything break when they slept apart –and repeat. They both knew they should probably be finding comfort in each other, bonding in their devastation, but they weren't. Each was dealing with the loss on their own terms, and were finding it difficult to let the other in when they were feeling so broken inside. He didn't want his boyfriend to see him like this.

Before the week was over, though, Dan was regretting making a move to the sofa, sleeping away from Phil every night. It got cold at night, and he missed his warmth, and the smell of his shampoo when he buried his face into his hair, and this pillow he had taken wasn't nearly as comfortable to lay one's head on as his boyfriend was.

He got up and crept quietly to their bedroom –or maybe what had been their bedroom? He wasn't sure anymore- and cracked the door open just a bit. He had to smile at the sight of Phil sleeping almost angelically, and Dan tiptoed closer, stopping for a moment to get a better look. Up close, Phil's hair was a mess, and he was drooling onto his pillow, and could be heard snoring louder than Dan remembered. But none of this deterred him in the least: he found his sleeping boyfriend quite endearing, actually –gloriously human in the most beautiful way. Phil was, in Dan's eyes, the closest to perfection someone could be.

Dan slid carefully into bed behind him, tucking himself against Phil's body so they were flush back to front, all the way down their torsos, and entangled at the legs. Dan felt him shift and took the opportunity to slip his arms around Phil's waist and pull him impossibly closer. He didn't mind that his arm would be numb long before morning, damn it, he wanted to spoon this gorgeous creature.

Dan thought about Ivy a lot that night, and how much of a joy it had been to have her in their lives while they did. He had thought he was too young to really settle down, but in his mid-twenties now, Dan realized that being able to raise a child with the love of his life had been a true blessing.

It was too early now to think about maybe trying again, with a child they could keep in their lives. They would always love Ivy with all their hearts, and would always think about her and wonder if she was okay being raised by those assholes. Dan didn't like to think about that, but he wondered, and prayed she would turn out alright. Maybe in the two years they'd had her, they'd left enough of an impression. They could only hope.

But though they would never forget Ivy, she didn't have to be the last chance they had at being a family. And nothing would really be different: they'd gone on with their lives much the same as before they had Ivy after they took her in, with their careers and whatnot. They'd already be skilled in parenting (at least, he liked to think so.) And maybe Dan was still young, but he really felt like he was ready to settle down, and it may have seemed a bit odd that a man his age was ready for that kind of thing, but why would he hold off on his happiness to meet societal standards? The two of them were already unorthodox enough –one more little discrepancy would do no harm.

He pressed his face into Phil's shoulder and wondered if he wanted the same thing. Given how he was equally distraught when they'd lost little Ivy, Dan could only imagine. And why should they have to hold off? Ivy had been their world, and maybe they could give that to another little child who needed them.

But if they were going to be a little family again, Dan wanted to go all out.

Phil wouldn't know yet that Dan had crept back into their bed last night, as Dan got up early to make them some breakfast, a kind of reconciliatory meal after they'd been so quiet to each other all week. He made coffee and pancakes, though he really would've rather they make the pancakes together. He had just finished getting everything set up when Phil stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Dan smiled and hopped over, kissing him quickly and mumbling a "good morning" against his mouth.

"I'm sorry for being such a twat and not sleeping in our bed these last few nights. I hope I can make up for it, and I'd like to move back into our room."

Phil smiled tiredly and kissed back. "You don't have anything to make up for, babe. I know… this week has been rough for both of us, and we're just not very good at dealing with it."

Dan nodded and pulled out a chair for his boyfriend, being a gentleman, and sat in his own seat opposite once Phil was sat with his plate of food, both starting to dig in.

"I can't believe you made pancakes without me," Phil mumbled, teasing, and Dan flung a bit of his food at him.

"Next time I just won't make them at all and you can get your own breakfast, Sir Snooze." Dan was only joking, of course; this was just typical them, and the banter was nice to have coming back after a very sorrowful few days. The pain was still very, very real for both of them, but with each other they thought they could maybe start to move on in their lives. It would take time, but they needed to accept that Ivy –their little princess- was no longer theirs, even if she was in their hearts. It was best to move on.

Dan pouted and reached across the table to knock Phil's fork off onto the floor. He watched with anticipation as his boyfriend leaned down to pick it up, and he pulled the small thing out of his pocket before Phil sat back up.

Phil plucked his utensil up off the floor and sat back up straight in his chair, ready to reach out and return the favor. He looked in front of him to find something he really never could've ever expected.

Dan had hearts in his eyes as he presented Phil with a candy necklace. And that was maybe the most confusing thing Phil had seen in twenty-nine years. "What…?"

"So hear me out. I wanted to get you the real deal, but I don't exactly have the money for that right now –I will, though, I swear. And then –almost as a joke, I guess- I wanted to buy you a Ring Pop instead, but when I went to the shop they didn't have any. This was the only kind of edible jewelry I could find, so I figured it would do.

Dan had to take a breath to calm himself as Phil just stared at him with wide, confused eyes. "I love you, Phil. I love you so much and after more than six years, I don't think that's going to change anytime soon. Hell, even before we actually ever talked I was so damn infatuated –but it wasn't until I first went to see you that I started to really fall in love. And boy did I ever. You were my light when the world was very… very dark, and I don't think I ever really thanked you for it. I don't think I ever could. After we lost Ivy, I did some thinking. I started to realize how, as much as she had been such a precious thing in my life, she would never have been in my life if it wasn't for you. Everything good in my life these last few years, they always come down to you. Now, maybe this isn't the time for big decisions, but I really think we're ready. I loved raising Ivy with you so much, and maybe one day, we could try again. But if we're gonna have another little family, I want it to be legit in every way. I would be the fucking happiest person on this planet if you… if you would marry me."


	8. Chapter 8

Phil's eyes were burning, and he had to restrain a laugh. Only his Dan would propose marriage using a candy necklace. Maybe it was way too soon after they'd lost Ivy to start thinking about trying again to raise a family, but there was no reason to hold off on this one thing that was always so inevitable for the two of them anyway, even if they'd never said that they both knew it would happen. They were passionately in love; why hold back?

"Yes, of course, you twat." Phil took the candy necklace from Dan and leaned in to kiss him sweetly, sweeter than the sugar the garment was made of, and more loving. When they pulled apart –Dan letting out a heavy sigh of relief- Phil tried to pull the necklace on over his head, and it almost didn't work. He struggled to pull it on, and finally it fell around his neck. "You didn't take into account my giant head, did you?"

Dan chuckled and leaned in to kiss his fiancé again. "Don't worry. I'll be sure that before I buy it, we'll have your actual engagement ring fitted perfectly."

A few hours later they were cuddling on the sofa, and Phil was nibbling at the candy rings on the band. Dan swatted him playfully. "I can't believe you're already eating your engagement snack!" he laughed, feigning offense. Phil just flipped him off and continued munching.

There was a knock at the door, and Phil groaned as he had to get up and answer it after losing rock-paper-scissors. Dan grinned and relaxed into his sofa crease as his fiancé left the room.

Suddenly Phil rushed back into the lounge, huge grin on his face that he was obviously trying to contain. "Dan- Close your eyes."

"What?"

"Just close your eyes, and keep them closed."

Curious and confused but deciding to just go along with it, Dan obliged and shut his eyes, relaxing once more after the outburst. He let his mind wander to the future wedding and where it should be, and what flavor of cake, and how absolutely gorgeous Phil would look in his tux, and-

There was a sudden weight on his chest. A very familiar one and he felt tears prick in his eyes.

"Daddy!"

* * *

_We've accepted that –after days of inconsolable crying and begging for her "daddies"- Haley is never going to be our daughter like she is yours. Homosexual or not, Haley loves you two and we'll have to deal with that. My husband and I hope you'll keep in touch. Thank you for taking such good care of her. – Andrea Calhoun_

The first time, Phil had found Ivy in an alley. The second, and final time, he found her on the other side of their front door. They weren't going to lose her again.


End file.
